I’ve been thinking about Priya Parker’s idea of “generous exclusion” from The Art of Gathering. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about her insight that sometimes the most caring thing a host can do is to intentionally narrow the invitation so a gathering can fulfill its purpose. It struck me that the same principle applies to how we recognize volunteer leaders.
In corporate volunteering, we often hesitate to highlight only a few people for fear of leaving others out. But what if recognition, like a gathering, becomes more meaningful when it’s curated with intention? What if acknowledging a few leaders clearly and thoughtfully actually deepens everyone’s understanding of what leadership looks like, and invites others to step into it next time?
When I started looking at recognition this way, it shifted the conversation from fairness to focus. Recognition isn’t about who gets the most hours or the biggest project — it’s about what we’re trying to build together, and who best embodies the spirit and purpose of the program. That realization led me to think about recognition as its own kind of gathering: a moment of intention, a story we tell about what matters most.
Reframing Recognition: From Reward to Purposeful Gathering
When you honor volunteer leaders, you’re gathering, even symbolically. You’re curating a moment to lift up examples that express the purpose of the program, not to validate everyone equally. In that sense, recognition is not a reward ceremony for “who did the most,” but a designed experience that reinforces what the company most values in volunteering.
Generous exclusion helps you say:
We’re not recognizing everyone because this recognition moment has a purpose: to illuminate behaviors and commitments that move us closer to our shared vision.”
That boundary lets recognition do what it’s meant to. It focuses attention, reinforces values, and activates aspiration.
1. Clarify the Purpose Before You Choose Whom to Recognize
Instead of asking “Who (or what) deserves recognition?”, start with “What are we trying to cultivate?”
- If the goal is to emphasize the value of leadership support, recognize those who built capacity in others.
- If the goal is to connect volunteering to business value, highlight those who effectively aligned impact with strategy.
- If the goal is to shift culture, recognize the behaviors that model Transformative Volunteering.
Once the purpose is clear, the selection naturally narrows.
2. Exclusion as Care (for the Integrity of the Message)
Recognizing everyone dilutes the story. By excluding generously, you protect the integrity of the recognition moment. You’re saying:
We care enough about our leaders and our story to be precise.”
That precision keeps the recognition authentic. Otherwise, it risks becoming noise or performative, which ultimately disengages people rather than inspiring and engaging them.
3. Transform “Exclusion” into Invitation
Generous exclusion doesn’t stop at who’s left out — it points to possibility.
Those not recognized aren’t shut out; they’re invited into a clear pathway of what to strive toward. Recognition becomes a mirror and a map: This is who we are when we’re at our best. Come join us!
If communicated this way, the effect is less “Why not me?” and more “Now I understand where to go and how to get there next time.”
4. Create Psychological Safety Through Transparency
Be explicit about how people are chosen and why. That transparency turns exclusion into trust-building:
We selected leaders who demonstrated peer mobilization, deep community partnership, and consistent reflection. These are the values we’re highlighting this quarter.”
When people understand why, they’re more likely to feel guided than excluded.
5. Make the Recognition Purposefully Incomplete
Parker often says that a good gathering leaves something unfinished. She describes it as an opening. Recognition can do the same.
- Spotlight a few stories that exemplify a principle, but invite others to share how they’re living it too.
- Use recognized leaders as ambassadors or mentors to help others grow into future recognition.
In this way, recognition becomes a cycle of inclusion rather than a static hierarchy.
Recognition as an Act of Intention
Recognition, when practiced through the lens of generous exclusion, is about focusing appreciation, not withholding it. It’s an act of intention. By curating moments that illuminate purpose and align with values, companies can transform recognition from a transactional reward to a deeper integration of volunteering into culture.
When done thoughtfully, generous exclusion creates clarity. And clarity, more than anything, is what meets people where they are and invites them to contribute at their highest level.
